My Plea to Take Internet & Device Protection Seriously

Early in my motherhood years, I watched a TV interview with two mothers who lost their young children to drowning. At the end of the interview, one mother gave her final advice to parents listening. She said to treat any body of water like a roaring lion waiting to devour your child. She said you would protect accordingly if you saw it that way. That imagery stuck deeply with me, and I have treated every body of water my young children were around as if immediate danger to their lives surrounded it.

There is an area that far too many parents do not treat like the roaring lion it is—devices and the internet.

We tend to view greater danger in places where we have experienced it firsthand. For example, I know my children should wear helmets whenever they get on their bikes. But full disclosure: I do not enforce that. I have never had more than a scraped knee from a bike, so the possible dangers of them riding a bike up and down our driveway don't feel worth fighting the helmet battle. Someday, I could look back at that decision with regret. Some of you reading this might have experienced awful bike wrecks, and you are shaking your head in disapproval. I get it. We guide from our experience.

I fear that because many of today's parents did not grow up with smart devices and the immediate access to the internet that our children have, we do not fully understand or take seriously the depth of danger it presents.

Though we tend to guide from our own experiences, sometimes we should guide from the experience of others, and spoiler alert, that is what this post is all about. I want to challenge you to put all your protective parental powers into your child or teen's device and internet usage.

So, why do I care so much? Buckle up and hear me out!

In 2020, I became the Communications Director for a public school district. A major part of my role was improving the district and schools' social media presence. While I had been an active Facebook user since it was only for college students, I was not an expert, so I began my homework to become one. A positive world of marketing and community-building possibilities initially unfolded.

While becoming the social media expert for my profession, I was also married to a School Resource Officer. My days were spent exploring the good; his days were spent dealing with the bad. I also began working closely with teenagers through our schools and church. As they shared the inner workings of their minds and souls, my fears and cautions about the harmful effects of devices and the internet were immensely solidified. They were no longer stats I had read; they were living souls standing in front of me. Many ordinary days added another piece to this complex relationship with devices and internet usage for me.

Throughout these years, my husband and I both struggled with device addiction in various seasons. Our screens became a source of escape and distraction from the battles inside of us. What felt simple and harmless truly damaged our connection and partnership. Meanwhile, our own children were nearing the age of device and internet usage. We could not ignore the dangers, so we chose to prepare intentionally.

I hope to share, through this blog, much of what I've learned through research and lived experience. As a communications professional and a mom, I hope you'll hear my heart of wanting to use my knowledge to educate and empower. I hope you'll follow along and share with others. But for today, I want to leave you with a few of my top pieces of advice to start protecting yourself and your family better from this roaring lion.

Simple Starter Steps to Device Protection

1. Purchase a parent-controlled phone for your child/teen, like Bark.

   While there are parental controls on regular smartphones, choosing a phone that is built with protection at the front can make a huge difference. While I have not used Bark personally (because my kids don't have devices,) every source I have read raves about it.

   
   

2. Wait at least until 8th grade to give your child access to social media.

   Your child/teen's brain is developing. There are things in this world that simply harm a developing brain more than a developed brain - substance use, sleep deprivation, stress, poor nutrition, and right at the top of the list is social media and screen time. Check out Wait Until 8th. Side note: some of the happiest teens I've met over the past few years are the ones who personally chose not to have social media!

   
   

3. Make a device basket.

   Recognizing our own need for boundaries with device usage, my husband and I created the "Phone Basket." When we get home, we place our phones in this basket on our kitchen island. It's central enough to hear if it rings, but once it's there, it stays there. Our home is the place where we do life together in the physical world. The basket helps keep digital distractions and device addictions at bay. Once our kids have devices, the basket rule will apply to them and any of their friends who come to our house. This isn't a punishment. It's a gift. We want to give our children and their friends the gift of real conversations and interactions.

   
   

4. All devices connected to the internet should be charged in the parent's bedroom at night.

   Does this one sound odd? Here's the simple concept - When children/teens have access to devices at night, especially in their bedroom, they are more likely to have disrupted sleep patterns, not to mention an unsupervised space for the various temptations of the internet to come their way. Buy them an old-school alarm clock and give them the gift of proper rest.

   
   

5. Follow these educational accounts.

   Knowledge is power! Add these accounts to your social media digest to quickly build up your knowledge on this subject. While there are tons out there, I have learned a lot from these qualities ones. I've linked to their website, so you can choose your preferred social media platform.

   
   

   Wait Until 8th

   Fight the New Drug

   Bark Technologies

   Cyber Safety Cop

   
   

6. Talk with Your Kids About Device/Internet Dangers

   Giving your child access to the Internet without conversations is like saying, "Here's the ocean, kid. Go swim, and good luck!" Children need consistent training and conversation as they learn to navigate the digital world. This means you need consistent training as a parent, too. Go ahead and subscribe to this blog and I'll send more educational posts straight to your inbox!